You Are Enough

I am so fortunate.  I have been blessed with the best of friends.

When Catherine asked if she could write a guest blog post, I said yes – why would I not?  Even though I had no idea what she would write, I knew it would be the right thing.  Well…..I’m glad I agreed.  I hope she speaks to your heart the way she spoke to mine.

First thing’s first, let me introduce myself.  My name is Catherine Cougias.  I am a stay at home mother of three beautiful children and married to the love of my life. My husband and I own a local business and were lucky enough to build the house of our dreams last year. 

Photo Credit to Christine of Wonkyeye Photography

Do you have a picture in your head?  I’m sure that you do.  Let me help you see it a little more clearly. 

My house is more often than not in complete disarray.  My children scream and yell and fight with each other.  They push ALL of my buttons, I have next to no patience and I end up yelling more often than I would like.  My marriage is far from perfect, I am late for just about everything, and I leave nearly everything to the last minute (which is something I am currently working on). 

I struggle daily with being a stay at home mom and am too scared to say anything because I know many wish they could stay home with their kids.  I love my children, my husband and my home.  I am incredibly grateful for them, but I constantly feel like I don’t contribute financially, like I am nothing more than a glorified maid and cook.  I feel like I am not the best mother I could be, or the best wife, friend and so on.  Furthermore, because I stay at home and don’t have a “real” job, I am constantly trying to over compensate by offering to volunteer my services, often at the detriment to my family.  I know, poor me, right? This is not a pity party, this is me sharing a part of my journey in the hopes that it may shine a light for one mother, one father, one wife or husband, one son or daughter, or whom ever happens to read this post. 

I am a fixer.  This is what I do.  If something is broken, if someone is broken, I want to fix it or help to make it all better.  I feel like there has been a lot of “fixing” to do lately, and the “fixing” had to start with me.  I have been trying for the better part of this last year to “fix” me. Quietly. On my own, without saying much to anyone.  It has been a very personal journey and one I’m not even sure I fully understood until I was part way through it. 

A very dear friend of mine posted a saying to my wall last week that said,  “You are enough”.  It struck me as kind of funny because although she knows me well and some of the struggles I have been through in the past, we don’t talk on a regular basis since she moved away.  We are still close, but our lives are busy, so she had no idea about the “fixing” I’ve been doing, and that this has become my mantra.

I am enough.

It took me a long time to say it to myself and even longer to say it out loud.  I  still don’t believe it every second of every day, but I am a work in progress.

I AM enough.  I am doing the very best that I can right now, at this moment in time.  I am trying to improve on many aspects, because let’s face it, there’s always room for improvement, but I am enough.  This is not where this story ends though.  I want everyone reading this to take very seriously the next three words I am about to say.

You are enough.

Stop and think about it for a moment.  Society today has put tremendous pressures on us and we, in turn, out those pressures on ourselves.  We constantly strive to be “perfect”.  We want to be more successful, make more money, lose more weight.  We need to cook organic meals with the organic food we grew in our own gardens, run 20 km, enroll our children in dozens of after school activities and take them to all of them. And the list goes on.  An over exaggeration?  Perhaps, but with the amount of information out there and the need to feel like we need to accomplish a  number of them, is astounding.  We are adding this stress on top of  everyday stresses such as , finances, jobs, children, marriage, etc.  There is no way on earth anyone could accomplish the number of things we think we should and be good at any or all of it.  Give yourself a break.

You are enough.

You had a bad day at work and have a meeting in the evening leaving little to no time for dinner prep.  You had to feed your family Kraft dinner and hotdogs for supper and feel like a failure for not preparing a full meal.  Did they eat?  Yes.  It’s ok. 

You are enough.

You don’t need to stay in an unhealthy, or abusive  relationship.  Don’t let anyone tear you down.  You deserve more.  Your children will understand one day, your grandparents will get over it.  You will find someone else. 

You are enough.

You don’t need to put half naked pictures of yourself on the internet to see how many likes or comments or shares you get.  Don’t lower yourself to this level.

You are enough.

You don’t need to have a model perfect body, because guess what?  Models don’t have a model perfect body.

 You are enough.

Whatever your struggles may be, you need to remember through it all to take extra special care of the person that should be the most important person in your life, you.  You are not doing yourself any favors by stretching yourself too thin and constantly adding to your own problems.  If you break down,  then so does everything else.  If you accept yourself, and love yourself, and finally begin to come to the realization that you are enough, amazing things will start to happen.  This is a concept that not everyone who reads this will be ready to accept.  It is a slow process, but one I assure you, is worth it.

You are enough.

Let me finish by saying I am a Christian.  I am a believer.  I do not push my beliefs on anyone or expect everyone to be a believer,  but if you believe on any level,  let me ask you this one question.  If God made you in His image and you are enough for Him, why in the world do you think you are not  enough for you?

You are enough.

Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us, Catherine.  You are amazing, beautiful and I am so thankful for you!!

~Lori