Knowing My Why

‘Knowing My Why’ makes a better title than ‘I Have No Idea What My Why Is’, right? Ugh.  

Know your why is such a catch phrase these days.  Know Your Why – build your audience.  Know Your Why – make more money.  Know Your Why – blah blah blah.  Farm Fresh Style – why??? Insert me doing a shoulder shrug with both hands thrown up!

I’ve had this conversation with a friend as we went back and forth, trying to figure out what direction she should go.  Knowing your why came up.  And we had a real conversation and I concluded I no longer know my why. Why do I continue to write posts here?  Why am I setting goals for 2019 for Farm Fresh?  Why am I striving to grow my following?  What do I have to gain from it all?

I can’t even say I lost sight of my why over the years.  It’s that it all has changed since the beginning.  I started this blog way back in 2012 because I felt a shift in my former place of employment.  I pretty much knew I was getting out, even though it would be close to 2 years before it actually happened.  I started a blog to create a platform for people to find me in the future.  And it worked.  But now? Well, I just don’t know anymore.  Sure, I get some design work through here, but it’s all done through Costandi’s now.  Technically, I don’t have to do this now.

But I can’t stop.  How could I just leave this blog behind?  I have made so many friendship, shared so many stories and worked so hard on building this from the ground up.  I can’t walk away from that.  Is that my why?

I hated english class in school.  I didn’t love writing.  But now? Well, I love it.  When I’m on a roll, I can crank it out.  My brain speeds along faster than my fingers can keep up.  I can’t imagine life without writing now.  Whether I’m telling you about a recent adventure or painting a picture for you, I’m loving the written word as an adult, far more than I ever did as a kid. I find myself scripting posts as I cruise along the back roads. Words have magic.  The order in which you arrange them releases their power.  Is my love of writing my why?

Blogging has provided me with opportunities that I wouldn’t have otherwise.  Experiences, relationships, income and product.  Those things matter, too.  I know there are others out there who, after blogging for this long without making ‘millions’ would’ve given up.  But I never set out for THIS to be the source of income, just as a landing spot for clients to find me.  But all that other stuff is sure a great bonus to it.  But is that my why?

I don’t journal.  I haven’t done up a scrapbook page in years and years now.  But As I scroll back through the posts, I have seen my children grow up in front of me.  It’s documented.  I’ve catalogued it.  Saved it for down the road.  I love taking a walk down memory lane, pictures paired with my version of the story.  Is that my why?

I still have no idea.  But I will continue.  I can’t see any reason to stop.  Nor do I have any desire to.

So here I stay.

Colourfully yours,

Lori